Quite speechless and unsure of what I want to write about. So, why write? Because I FEEL like it.


I remember, when I was with an ex, and his mom liked me, because she thought I came from a broken family. Pity. She had this look "Aww, you poor little thing you". Expect me to crawl under her warmth. Thats a load of bull. Instead, I became defensive. WHAT THE HELL, don't you look down on me or my family, I thought. Yea, I come from a huge family and we all hate each other sometimes (Don't deny it cousins. hehe). BUT, we're still family, we don't have much of a choice, and if anything, we were all thought to be strong and independent.


When people say something about my lifestyle and my unlimited freedom, they are implying I wasn't brought up the right way. And THAT, people, is the biggest insult towards my family and I.


I have all the freedom in the world. I don't drink, though I used to. I learn from my mistakes. I spend half of that freedom buried in new paperbacks in Borders. I go to clubs, and no, I don't have one night stands just because I club. There's only ONE place I go to, thats where my close friend plays in a band. I listen to the music, thats about it. I have more guy friends because I need to feel a sense of security, and because I have 2 stepbrothers but I never had the chance to know them, thus a replacement of my siblings. My mom doesn't go all crazy when I'm out with my friends all the time. She trusts me enough to trust the people I go out with. I have pride, it is a form of defence weapon for me.


I think my mom brought me up the best way possible, so if you have anything to say about my lifestyle, and the way I was brought up, swallow it my friend. All the freedom in the world doesn't make me a bad person. So much for not having anything to say.


You can sing my song, but you can never have my rhyme.

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