Pride. Once, K, after labelling me an introvert, told me never to lose my pride to show the people I care that I do really care. Why lose it when its the one thing that made you who you are. A body without a soul is what we are without pride. Break one little rule of yours, they will all break soon and where was the You that you thought You were?

K then went on to interrogate me and soon after, reconfirmed that indeed, I was one of the rare female introverts around after making notes on his imaginary Introvert Checklist. All these from a man I respected after knowing him for a mere 10 mins. I was in awe of this private banker who dropped by my uncle's pub and seeing I wasn't in the mood to talk to a stranger, went on anyway to try to start a conversation. He said that its one of the weird occasions in which an introvert would like some chat time with another introvert.

I told him there was no point in reminding me about pride. I gave it all away to the person who despised me the most. I went on my knees and gave me away. It made me feel empty, I felt as if I've been cheated, by myself. K made me believe I could win back the pride that made me. Refurnish my empty rule book with new rules. What did I learn from that empty experience? Include that in the rule book. I did.

6 months later, I realised the new set of rules I founded has been broken yet again by me. And through these experiences, I also came to realise that I was a happier, more confident person when the rule book was my reference. Now I am going through the phase of filling up the empty pages yet again. I failed myself a couple of times. That doesn't make me a failure. I believe I am still strong enough to try again and I won't ask for success. All I ask for is that I don't give up along the way.

So don't ever ask me to shed my pride. Don't make me explain the things I do. Don't ask me why I am better off at a bistro with a paperback and a soda by myself.

Don't make me.