Monday, May 29, 2006
missing the girls. i guess different crowds bring out the different 'you'.
with them, i was out of the ordinary, and yet, it was just me. it was being fun without even planning to have fun. the feeling, every morning, of waking up feeling as though the world had just collided with your head, and you have no sense of urgency to get to class at all, then suddenly you receive a message from them, and you're up and ready to head down to have a little fun.
now of course, all of us are headed in different directions. and just looking at the pictures we took in school can remind us of old jokes, be it lame or funny. it didn't matter, well, not to us at least.
anyway, i realise i've been a little too direct nowadays. long ago, it used to be fear of what people thought if i told them things honestly. i used to feel guilty for lying, even when its a mere white lie. now, i feel guilty for being too direct.. for example, the other day, i was asking a certain someone if she'd lost some weight. so she replied, ' really?? i did?'... and of course i took a second glance and just said 'oh, no... you're just wearing looser clothes today'... and i didn't even realise it until someone kicked my foot underneath the table.
then again, i think its better to lose friends for being direct, than to lose them for lying.
anyway, the exams are almost over. and my career starts with the blink of an eye. was given a couple of chances to work in a couple of firms, under recommendation. but i'm pushing away the offers.
how can you be successful when that success didnt start from you in the first place. i'm not the type of person to be 'recommended' or work in my uncle's wife's sister's sister-in law's company just because i'm a relative or a friend of a friend's father. i want to taste every drop of that success, and know that it was all worth the sweat, the pain, the blood.
i should stop blabbering on success now, i'll just carry on trying to study for the last paper..
till then.